


My Magic, My Mind

by RightToFlight



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Apprentice - Freeform, Arcana - Freeform, Black Markets, Elemental Magic, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Gift Giving, Kissing, Magic, Magicians, Male Pronouns for Asra (The Arcana), Milova, Other, POV First Person, Romantic Fluff, Suggestive Themes, Summoning, Surprise Kissing, Tarot, Travel, the arcana - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:06:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RightToFlight/pseuds/RightToFlight
Summary: In a letter to Asra (that may or may not ever make it to him) the apprentice says what they think of when summoning elemental magic, with inserted scenes detailing the context of what they write. Lots of fluff.





	1. Chapter 1

**When I conjure flame, I think of...**

Your tea, the way the smell burst forth and the way I would lean over the back of a chair, watching small blue flames flicker below the kettle. You never changed in conjuring them, willing them from the air to spill heat into the room, but the flames danced uniquely every time I witnessed them. We should dance more often, Asra, I miss that. Remember last time, when we were gathering herbs to dry and the sun shone through the forest canopy? It gave us our own light, our own stage, and we danced over the herbs until the clearing smelled like home.

 

_Asra took my hand, the herbs abandoned. He spun me around against his chest and I tried to look backward. "What are you doing?" I asked, and he looked into my eyes._

_"Dancing," was his answer, and I spun out of his arms only to bring him into mine. The sun shone like small pinpoints of fire between the leaves above us._

_"Did Julian teach you this?"I let the bundle of leaves I held drop onto tall grass. Asra hums a response that could be interpreted as a yes or a no. It was a yes, I decided, swaying back and forth. "We need some music."_

_Asra shook his head, curls spilling into his eyes. "Says who?" Then before I could respond, he begins clapping his hands as he twirls separate from me. A whistle rises from his lips and the birds around us carry the tune effortlessly, making me wonder if his voice carried magic in the notes. We continue for some time, drawing closer and closer, our rhythm beating a steady pace. I felt grass bend and break under my feet as we danced trails through it, and at last, when our arms were around each other again, I interrupted the tune by kissing him, and he was unable to resume, flustered and looking into my eyes as his own grew wider, his steps stumbling and trying to regain pace as his mind caught up to what happened. His cheeks flushed and he looked down at our clasped hands._

_"If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were embarrassed," I teased, and Asra shook his head in protest, looking at me once again._

_"No, no, I just was surprised."_

_"Someone had to do it," I pointed out, making Asra smile. In a second, his hair seemed to light up with the sun hitting it from above. I spun around several more times, swaying with the earth that seemed to move under my feet. I could smell lavender from the forest floor, the scent enticing Asra to move forward- Or was I the one he moved toward? We resumed dancing even though the forest had gone quiet, and by the time the sun vanished behind closed branches again, our search for herbs had been abandoned._

_We danced until there was no more light to dance by, and a small blue flame in Asra's hand lit the way back home._

 

 

**When I conjure wind, I think of...**

The way you sit over the counter, scribbling notes into whatever book is pulled in front of you. I don't know if you know, but you have a habit of drumming your fingers against the jars, and the items within rattle and clink. It's soothing to me, but it seems like it isn't to you. That one time you couldn't think straight because the wind kept blowing the page over- I saw you nearly knock those bottles over, but nothing helped you relax. Faust was there too, around your shoulders, and I think she enjoyed the breeze. I didn't know how to help you then, because closing the window would fill the house with an overwhelming scent of citrus. You lost your temper after that, and with a single spell, you closed the window without so much as getting up. I had never seen you do magic so fluidly. You used the same sort of spell to circle the air around the shop, and then... 

 

_I looked at Asra carefully. "Are you okay?" I asked, noticing Faust give him a gentle squeeze. Asra relaxes a bit, dropping his hands onto the paper._

_"I'm trying to copy these old texts. The library had a new book they got some a collector who needed money and sold a few pieces. I got my hands on this one for an agreeable price and now I'm trying to decipher what it says."_

_I circle the counter and look over his shoulder. Faust flickers her tongue over my cheek and swivels to watch my eyes study the paper intently._

_"This says 'gold'," I tell him, and he stares at me with a bewildered expression._

_"I thought it said 'sun'. Or are you sure it isn't a term meaning 'bright'?" His tone holds confusion, but he writes the word down anyway._

_"No, it's gold. Julian showed me his old coins and several of them had this term on them."_

_"How do you remember that? I can only remember the large copper coin he used as a paperweight. 'So much copper, it's worth as much as a gold piece' he always said. I never believed that." Then, Asra's face lit up, "a paperweight! That's what I need!"_

_"There are at least five heavy bottles lying around here at any given time," I jested, "use one of those."_

_"But what if I'm using them to hold something, like those flowers you picked for me?" Asra's lips shift to one side and his eyebrows narrow as he thinks. "Maybe we can go down to the beach together and find some nice rocks."_

_"Sounds like an excuse to spend more time out together," I say, and he grins widely at me._

_"There's no fooling you, is there?"_

_He left his work then and there, and the sound of the door's bell joined the windchimes as we left the shop together._

 

**When I conjure water, I think of...**

The time Julian taught me to swim and I went for a swim later with you. You sat by the pond the whole time, I didn't know why, and I wanted you to join me. You were happy to watch, however, and I was happy that you were happy. Until I dunked under water, holding my breath for a long time and you panicked. Based on how your clothing lay on the grass, I assume you had been throwing off your scarfs and shirt just to come to help me. That's when I learned that you couldn't swim. I ended up more scared than you did, huh? You never saw the stupid grin I had as I carried you to the shore, only the look of concern as I helped you cough up water. You were so, so worried that I would think you were stupid, but the thought never crossed my mind, and I only fell deeper in love with you...

 

_"What were you thinking?" I asked, firmly slapping Asra's back as he coughed again._

_"That you were... Drowning..."_

_Guilt took hold of me, and I softened. "I'm sorry, I should have thought about how you would interpret it. I'm alright, Asra, really. What about you?" His head settled onto my lap as we sprawled back onto soft sand._

_"Better now," He answered, a soft sigh following. "You know," he added as an afterthought, "this would be a lot better if we were both dry."_

_"I haven't learned any spells for that."_

_"I know a few," his eyes take in the sight of my body, sleek with water, "but they all leave my mind when I see you."_

_"I see your point now... That would be more romantic if we were dry." I stretched out on my belly, "the sun can take care of that though."_

_"It certainly makes it happy." Asra grins at me, "get it? The sun card represents joy-"_

_I playfully make a slap, but my odd angle causes my arms to fall short. "Keep our lessons out of this, Asra, you'll ruin the moment!" But an idea made its way into my mind. "You know," I started, "it also represents marriage, right?"_

_Asra looked like a deer in headlights. "Wh-what?" He spluttered as if he were the one drowning, a touch pink in the face. "You... You're thinking about marriage?"_

_I shook my head quickly, "no, well, yes, but not for the time being, of course, with the shop being so busy and my lessons still underway. What the future holds, however... That's for the cards to tell us, right?"_

_Asra relaxed, sprawling his body out next to mine, letting our hands make their way into each other. "Right," he said, with a tone that made me think his mind was still dwelling on the future. I could only hope he wasn't drowning in it as he sometimes did."For the cards to tell."_

 

**When I conjure nature, I think of...**

Small, green shoots coming up from the soil, pushing towards the sunlight. We were growing tulips that year, I think. I remember pushing the loose dirt out from around them, giving them space to breathe and grow. You showed me how to give them water, and insisted that singing to them would help them grow faster and taller. When I asked if you did the same for Faust, you laughed and told me that maybe her growth spurt was from hanging around Julian too much, with the way he sings and hums while he works. I can remember the exact look on your face- bafflement, surprise, amusement- when we discovered why she was growing so much. I guess leafy greens do wonders for health even for snakes. And the petals on her head made me laugh way too hard, they all flew off, but you saw them there. Our tulips grew so vibrant and tall... I think it's because we were so happy around them.

 

_"Asra?" I called, looking through the curtains of the back room. I took a step in, checking the corners of the room as if someone could possibly be there. "Asra?"_

_The door to the shop creaked open and closed again. I heard the noise of a bag being set down on the counter, a coat being shrugged off, and I turned around to find him. He looked at me for a moment as if he forgot I was here but smiled quickly to hide his brief confusion._

_"Oh, you're up!" He reached into the bag, "I restocked our blue thread and glass beads, and..." He dug his hand in further, withdrawing a few plant bulbs that I didn't recognize. "Some tulips!"_

_"Tulips?" I tried to think of any magical correspondences for those flowers. "Why?"_

_"Why not?" He shrugged, before bending down and digging around in the small storage space under the counter, emerging with several jars. "Want to help me fill these up?"_

_We ended up outside, dirt stuck under our fingernail and smearing around the glass of the jars. Asra was very picky about the sort of soil. It had to be damp enough, but not too damp, fine but the perfect amount lumpy, and of course if it was growing to close to the street he decided it was better to stay clear entirely. When we finally brought the jars back inside, I helped him bury the bulbs inside the soil and water them. He fussed about with their display in the window._

_"Asra," I wanted for his attention, "you know the back window has more sunlight, right?"_

_He hurriedly picked the jars up in his arms again, "Right, I knew that."  He moved in the opposite direction, and I plucked several jars from his grip that he nearly dropped, following him._

_"So, how long will these take to grow?" I asked, and he seemed a bit puzzled at the question before turning pink in the cheeks. Setting down the jars, he stared at them._

_"I, uh... I didn't ask the man selling them. Maybe a few weeks? I don't know when they'll start sprouting." He spun back to give me a smile, "I'm afraid I've never planted tulips before. It could take longer, for all I know."_

_"We can wait," I told him, my arms around him now as we stood face to face. "Do you know what color they'll be?"_

_Asra hummed, "Mm, no. But I can only hope those tulips are the color of your two lips."_

_I drew back a few inches, a look of feigned disappointment on my face. "That was bad," I scolded, unable to keep a serious tone._

_"It was," he agreed, "but is this?"_

_In a burst of boldness I rarely ever saw in him, Asra leaned forward enough to kiss me. At that moment I knew exactly how the plants felt when they felt air and sunlight for the first time, how they must feel as if they had been starved from it all along. I returned the act, my hands grasping the fabric of his shirt behind him, pulling him closer until he was forced to pull away only for air. We looked at each other like we never really had before, like new leaves uncurling to face the sun for the first time. Slowly, we opened ourselves up, leaving who we used to be behind, and growing into a new stage of our lives._

 

Asra, when I think of magic, I think of you. When you pretend not to notice me slipping Faust from your shoulders and placing her onto your head (or are your curls just that dense?), when you grab me by the hand to dance, to explore, to kiss. And you're a part of my magic, Asra, not only as my teacher but as my companion, my best friend, and my lover. How could I not think of you? Even now writing this, knowing you're away on a trip again- that's okay. I can't wait for you to tell me all about it. Have you met pirates like Julian says you might? He's been by the shop a lot lately, I think he misses you (but not as much as I do). I gave him a key, by the way, I hope you don't mind. Maybe now he won't just get in through the window every time. 

Where will you be in the world when you open this letter? Will you be in a desert, scorching hot under a sky clear as crystal? A grassy plain with winds that turn the sea of grass into an ocean of green? Maybe you're on open water, with or without pirates, or maybe you're deep in a forest surrounded by music again. I hope that when you open this letter, you'll be right next to me here at home, just the two of us (and Faust), maybe with some tea in hand. I hope you'll be right here, Asra, where I can give you more love than just these words. Because in case you haven't figured it out already (I mean, you've had some days of being oblivious in the past, Asra), what I'm trying to say is... I love you. 

Safe travels,

\- Your ~~Apprentice~~  Love

 


	2. My Lover, My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to 'My Magic, My Mind'. Asra comes home and reads the letter.

The letter was lying on top of folded clothing inside a chest by the bed. I couldn't think of a better place to put it before going to sleep, so it had been placed there in haste as I had prepared to sleep. I myself was in bed, half awake and reluctant to open my eyes. The warmth of blankets was intoxicating and I couldn't think of anything but a dim recollection of a dream that was quickly fleeting. I groaned into the pillow and blinked, forcing myself awake and turning to my side. Faust was leaning directly into my face when I rolled over, my eyes opening to find a blur of blue. As I blinked them further open, she flicked her tongue over my nose, causing my face to reflexively wrinkle up.

"Hey Faust," I mumbled, swinging out of bed and blinking rapidly against the light that the morning welcomed into the room. That was my fault for not closing the curtains last night when I was looking at the stars, trying to find a sign that Asra was safe on his travels. Looking down, I saw that bedsheets were wrapped around me like snares, trapping me- even Faust wrapped herself around my feet as if to stop me from leaving. She looked me in the eyes, and I felt a small tingle in my mind as she spoke.

 _Asra!_ Her head swayed and twisted to regard me upside-down, waiting for my sleep-logged mind to catch up. Her words took a moment to settle within me, and when they did, any trace of lingering exhaustion left me.

"Asra?" I shook off sheets as I stood up and Faust wound up my body, settling around my shoulders. Stepping free from the pile as they slid off the bed, I made my way downstairs as quickly as possible, nearly tripping on the second-to-last step. With one hand on the end of the railing, I swung myself around (the wood here had become shiny with this habit of mine) and stood nearly in the center of the store.

I couldn't stand exactly in the center, of course, because that space was occupied. My arms were on Asra before my eyes were, wrapping around him and pulling him towards me tightly. In response, he circled his arms around my waist and we stood there for a few moments in silence. Faust came down my arm and onto Asra's, taking advantage of the contact. I clutched him against me until I felt his need to pull away, the air heavy with the forming fragments of uncomfortable tension. 

"You're back," I whispered, separated from him enough to see his face. Had he tanned since he was away? And was that a cut on his lip? My fingers reached up and brushed over it lightly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Asra said, hanging his hat on a hook. Faust poked her head out from the folds of his scarf and her tongue poked a curl of his hair. "I have got to tell you, Milova is wonderful this time of year. I visited a market-" He paused and brought several jars of red and orange powder from his bag- "and got some spices. The cut on my lip was obtained after when I was chased through the streets because someone thought I stole their hand-made spoons. When I proved that I was a harmless magician-" we both chuckled, "they allowed me to help them find the real culprit."

"Helping people even across the seas, Asra," I said in light jest. We both knew it was true, however playfully I said it. I sat on the counter of the shop, swinging my legs gently. "So, how was the ship?"

"Busy," he answers immediately. "We ran into some strong winds and the captain was a superstitious fellow who refused magical assistance. Threatened to throw me overboard. So I holed up in my cabin and waited for my stomach to stop doing cartwheels. Oh, and they were transporting fish so the place smelled like an aquarium for the duration of the trip."

"Wish I could have been there," I said, making Asra laugh and kiss me again. "So, no pirates? Julian was a bit worried. Said that they frequent the islands near the coast."

"Well, I may have done a see-me-not spell when we passed by. It's not like the captain could tell." He smiled and I mentally thanked his cunning preparation.

With some convincing, I got Asra to tell me where he had been. The ship docked two days after leaving and he spent a while with an old friend from the area, a man who used to run an illegal gambling ring before putting it aside when the city became a safer, more law-abiding place. He now spent his fortune accumulating more gold as an investor. 

"A gamble of a different kind, he called it," Asra explained. He painted a mental image for me of shining sands, a caravan of people and wagons leading him to the shining city of Milova. He described the shops and scents and sounds, how a group of gulls lived outside the place he was staying at and would squawk at anyone who passed. His tone became positively devious when he mentioned sneaking into an alley at night to find one of the few remaining refuges for black market sellers. They sold items of rarity and value, he said, items that were too dangerous to be sold elsewhere.

"Mostly cursed items, really. I had to check everything before I touched it. One seller tried to convince me that a book wasn't cursed, but he was holding it with tongs so I can't say I trusted the credibility of his words."

I laughed, "I wouldn't either. So, what did you get?"

"Some obsidian that's been enchanted to siphon energy, some mushrooms that I can't find around here, and some bones of, what the woman who sold them claims it is, a large lizard they call a fire drake, some sort of wingless draconian creature that leaves fire in its wake."

"That sounds fake."

"Which is why tomorrow I'll go get the bones authenticated."

He reached back into his bag again, and this time his fingers withdrew closed around a necklace of flashing white. He nearly dropped it as he pulled it out.

"I also got this. For you. Not, uh, from the black market, though. A normal market."

I looked down as he dropped it into my hands, and my fingers trailed over it. It was a silver chain, delicate and light, with shells affixed to the length of it with small rings. They clattered against each other pleasantly and the mother of pearl caught the light from the window. They shimmered as I lifted it up, pressing the front to my neck and spinning around so that Asra could clasp it behind me. It hung against my chest, and Asra couldn't take his eyes off until they lifted to my face. That was my fault, really, with the small squeal I had made.

"I have something for you as well, wait here." I smiled at him and ran back up the stairs, opening the trunk by the bed and letting the heavy, cream-colored paper practically slide into my hand. I closed the chest and made my way downstairs, careful not to crease the letter further. I paused on the landing, my eyes scanning the room.

"I need this to be perfect. Wait right here-" I guided him into a seat at the table in the back room. The cloth over it had been removed when I closed the shop last night, so Asra leaned his arms on the cool glass instead. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the kettle from a cabinet.

_Tea, I need tea._

With the thought in my mind and warmth in my chest, I practically danced to the oven and crouched down, focusing my hand in and starting a small fire that I grew into a steady flame. I filled the kettle and made sure the tea bag was that of black tea, Asra's favorite.

"This will be a minute!" I called from the kitchen, and I heard Asra's chuckle come through the shop. I heated the water fast as I could, using what magical talent I had to brew the tea as quickly as possible. Pouring two mugs, I made my way back and set them on the table, retrieving the letter once again and dragging my stool next to Asra. "I wrote this for you and I'd like for you to read it. I considered sending it to you on your journey but I, I didn't really know your exact location." My eyes stared at a smudge on the glass until Asra's hand settled on mine. He gave me an encouraging glance and took the letter from my hand, unfolding it and spreading it onto the table.

I watched his eyes darting back in forth and I saw his lips tugging up into a smile. Sometimes a glimmer of recollection would echo over his features, or his breathing would catch in a small gasp or laugh. His eyes lingered upon the last line and widened with emotion when he finished my signature. For several seconds afterward, he stared at it as if not believing it was real.

"I don't know what to say," he started, looking from the letter to me. Our gaze met and I placed my hands on top of his, leaning towards him slightly. He mirrored the action as if my gaze were pulling him towards me as much as his gaze pulled me. Faust slithered from his shoulders and to the floor, disappearing under the curtain. With a wave of my hand, my magic was able to close the curtains and cut off our view of the store, and the outside's view of us.

"Then don't say anything," I whispered, loud enough for the two of us to hear. The words seemed to linger in the room as we both closed into a kiss- I closed my eyes and my hand curved up over his back to play with the curls of his hair. He ran one hand down my shoulder and my arm, his fingers around mine, and the both of us broke off for a breath, standing up from the stools, and I nearly stumbled as our lips reconnected. We were like a circuit, electricity flowing through us both, and the charge invoking our passions. I could practically feel our magic, and feel how it was  _together,_ finally, and pent up as swirling energy that had to be released.

"I suppose I do have... several words to say," Asra said in my ear. His voice was rich with _want_ , with _need_. "But right now there are quite a few I would love to hear you say." There was no explanation needed from him, we both could read the energy of a room. His hands were off of mine now, his fingers no longer entwined with my own. Instead, they were making their way down my back and finding a path under the fabric. We moved as one to stand against the wall- leaning, really- and his kissed moved from my lips to my neck, his breath warming the necklace against my chest. My head tilted back without meaning to, my eyes barely open. I traced a finger over his cheek and down his arm as he had with me, and my fingers curled around his waist.

"I'm glad you're back," I said to him with a gasped breath, and he paused briefly enough to look me in the eyes, one hand at the waist of his pants and the other on my side, the fingers firm against my skin.

"So am I," he confessed, and our magic surged again as we reunited ourselves.


End file.
